Santa Claus

My family is Jewish, so we (obviously) don’t believe in Mr. C, but due to the recent barrage of holiday movies (mainly The Polar Express), my little brother has a bit of ‘the magic’ in him. Today he brought up the whole idea of Santa Claus and his enterprise, saying this:

“So is Santa the leader of the present factory?”

And I replied “Yeah I guess,” (an easy way out of the conversation which would probably end in me telling him that Santa doesn’t exist). He thought about this for a minute, then said:

“But in Polar Express, there’s that leader elf. So what if Santa is just the delivery boy?”

That surprised me. I guess I never really thought about it, but it makes sense in a way. Why would the guy who leads all the elves bother delivering the presents himself? Why not get the elves to do it for him? The answer: The big C is actually employed to the elves, who are too small to deliver all the presents themselves. The big, jolly, red-suited man we’ve come to know and love is actually just the delivery boy for the elven empire!

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4 Responses to “Santa Claus”


  1. 1 Blaze December 28, 2005 @ ~6 am at ~6 am

    JESUS CHRIST! You’re right!
    Santa is nothing more than a delivery boy working for the elves and because of his rising popularity, he also serves as their mascot. Christmas as we know it is ruined! Thanks to to your brother!

  2. 2 Cutter December 28, 2005 @ ~5 pm at ~5 pm

    Jesus…YOU SAID JESUS!

    Hmm…Santa may rebel in a time not to far from today…

  3. 3 Anonymous December 29, 2005 @ ~12 am at ~12 am

    i wonder how much he got paid?

    Yaz

  4. 4 Tikimatt January 2, 2006 @ ~4 pm at ~4 pm

    But what if the elves are just Santa’s manslaves who formed their own heirarchy within themselves..HMMM…And what if Santa only delivers da prezentz because they went on strike and made him…HMMM..

    P.S. Their summer jobs are probably
    burning orphanages, eating babies, and
    devouring the souls of the unborn just to show how bad@$$ they are for the other 11 months.

    P.P.S. YAZ GET AN ACCOUNT SO WE CAN SEE SOMETHING OTHER THAN
    ————————–
    Anonymous said…

    blahblah BATMAN blahblah POLITICS blahblah ANIME blahblah

    Yaz

    2/1/06 13:34 AM
    —————————


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